Funny Jokes, anyone?

[oldguy]

cat as trophe
(cat's) as$ trophy

[kiteman]

I thought this one up.

What do you call a domesticated Buick?

A carpet.

[ZMAN]

I hope nobody posted this one.
A guy finally saves up enough money to buy a Super Bowl Ticket. He heads out to the game and finds his seat. He sits down and he sees an empty seat and a guy sitting on the other side. He turns to the guy and says "wow an empty seat at the Super Bowl. " The guy turns to him with a sad look and says yes that was is my wife's seat. We never missed a game in 25 years. And she passed away. The first guy gives his condolences and sits back. it really bugs him that the guy would keep an empty seat, so he blurts out. Couldn't you give the seat to one of your friends or relatives.
The second guys says No they are all at the funeral!

[poodlesrule]

Did you hear about the computer programmer who starved to death in the
shower? The shampoo directions said, "Wash, rinse, repeat."

.

[Eric***]

Did you hear about the computer programmer who starved to death in the
shower? The shampoo directions said, "Wash, rinse, repeat."

Nice. That's worth at least a chuckle.

[Robert****]

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Please
be careful!"

"Hell," said Herman, "its not just one car Its hundreds of them!"

[poodlesrule]

.... Posted in a veterinarian's office: "Back in 5 minutes. Sit. Stay."


.

[poodlesrule]

Come on people, we need some levity!

Here's one:

Marriage Counseling

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife go for counseling.

When asked what the problem was, the wife starts in on a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the years they've been married.

On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she's had to endure.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays but on Fridays I go fishing."


.

[Robert****]

metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf.

[tjcurtin1]

Wow - working through that thread to get here reminded me of a lot of old names and avatars... Where are they now? Miss a lot of those fine folks.

[deeaa*]

I bet many still lurk here, even if don't post so often. I've been posting to agf of late and basically the same as articles on a Finnish forum often, hasn't seemed like a sensible thing to post the same stuff to a third place.

Here's a broken down Gibson Faded SG I completely refinished and overhauled with reshaped neck and all though, the end result is on the vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5okJYzIBjM&sns=em

Sent from my LG-D802 using Tapatalk

[Robert****]

I bet many still lurk here, even if don't post so often. I've been posting to agf of late and basically the same as articles on a Finnish forum often, hasn't seemed like a sensible thing to post the same stuff to a third place.

Here's a broken down Gibson Faded SG I completely refinished and overhauled with reshaped neck and all though, the end result is on the vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5okJYzIBjM&sns=em

Sent from my LG-D802 using Tapatalk

Is that supposed to be funny?