Comments needed...please?

[deeaa]

Hey guys,

Working on this 'Christmas song' now:

http://deeaa.pp.fi/lzm/MerryXmas/Xmassong_22_11.mp3

It's largely in demo stages yet, vocals definitely need be redone, tweaks here and there, lots of work. No bass either yet...on my laptop I just realize how loud the vox are and can't even hear the organs etc...

BUT.
Does it work at all on idea level?
Should it be with cleaner sounds all over? Maybe even soft, acoustic picking largely?
Is it too short at only 3 minutes?
Probably would need some sort of an intro to the song at least?
Anything you find weird about the lyrics/would change something?

I dunno, I just worry it might be too simple, (although the guitars are pretty complex even at times) and maybe a bit corny or something. So before I work on it much further, does it seem like anything that could have a future?

Cheers...

 

[Jimi75]

D, you are a great musician and songwriter, but somehow this idea doesn't work for me as a Xmas song. It reminded me of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Lyrics are absolutely okay, I wouldn't change them.

All in all the song is too triste, if you know what I mean. A Xmas song has this certain happiness going underneath. I'd build up more major scale related tension.

The layout isn't too simple, but it could be softer guitarwise, although guitars are played clean already. An intro would definitely help, maybe some obligatory bells

This is just my opinion. I am sure you will end up presenting a great sounding Xmas song after the rework.

 

[deeaa]

Yeah, I was wondering about labeling it an xmas song actually...not a very traditional one, but somehow need to clarify it's about xmas anyhow...and a sad song as well Thanks!

 

[deeaa]

And yeah...I think I'll cut back the drive guitars some more.

A part of me would want to try and make a very pristine clean soft, bell-like guitar sound instead of a little dirt...hmm, I dunno. It'd make a big difference to the usual stuff at least. Might even use a guitar with a neck pickup...these are all played on the Yamaha shredder.

 

[deeaa]

Updated the file to a better mix, now the organ should also be more audible...more comments, plz?

 

[deeaa]

bump

 

[jpfeifer]

Hi Dee,

I listened to the track. I like the singing and the overall song structure. It is a little dark sounding for a Christmas tune, but the song itself is good. I like your voice and the intrumentation. Maybe it could sound a little more Christmasy with some instrumentation changes (using bells, strings, classical guitar, or moving some of the electric guitar parts to acoustic guitar so as to lighten up the overall feel of it a little)

The song itself is good. Maybe you don't want to change it too much.
Again, your voice is great. It reminds me of David Bowie. He did a great version of Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth for an odd track that he recorded with Bing Crosby.

--Jim

 

[deeaa]

Thanks! I think you're right about the bells and such. I want to be careful to keep it 'dark' enough, but now I'm thinking maybe drums should start only after the first chorus, and before that there could be some bells and such, yeah.

I guess there's indeed something similar to Bowie in my sound, 'cos I hear that a lot...thanks!

 

[NWBasser]

A nice piece Dee.

I have to agree that the music is a bit too dark to fit well with the lyrics.

And the obligatory....needs some serious bass!

 

[deeaa]

Thanks! And yes bass is coming...some day! The Whobody (I made the song for them) bassist's computer is pretty much broken. He did send me a demo version with bass, but not a separate bass yet to mix in. There may also be a solo/other guitar later on. It's a VERY slow band to work with, I'm amazed if we get to finalize more than one song a year

But, I think the lyrics aren't very happy either...I don't know if they're too cryptic, then...about how people buy themselves happy @ xmas while somewhere else children are dying in wars in faraway lands...I think it's pretty dark in lyrics as well, albeit ironic, like the chorus 'everyone here glows with joy we bought'...