great country songs, sort of

[evenkeel]

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.
9. Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I Woke Up With a Few.
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.
2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My *** Out All Day Long.

Plus. I'm Gonnna Drink and Drive that Woman Right Outa My Mind. (actually a real song.)

 

[bigoldron]

My all-time favorite: "We Used to Kiss on the Lips, But It's All Over Now"

 

[tot_Ou_tard]

Many, many moons ago I had a friend who used to play at some local open mics. He got tired of the sh!tkicker music that was played at these so he wrote his own country song to fit it.

The chorus was:

I'm going doooowwwnnn to Weaverville
Gonna maaaarrrrryyy me some girl
All she gotta do is jes' stand still
Long, long enuff fer me to give her a thrill
I'm going dooooown to Weaverville