more stupid girl questions

[pie_man_25]

I know, you guys are probably tired of these by now, but this is the last one I swear. Anyways, I've been seeing this girl for about a month and a half now, and she's known how I've felt about her for a few weeks, basically when I gave her that poem I wrote, anyways, it didn't really occur to me until one of her friends (whom I never saw before) saw us hanging out at lunch (we weren't alone, our friends were their too) and asked "are you two dating?" at which point she replied "no" and sorta giggled a bit, I'm pretty sure by her response she that she may want to, I just don't know when I should ask her, I mean I don't know if I'm ready for this kind of commitment, I know I'm interested, but I think I should wait a bit. what do you think?

 

[Spudman]

I know, you guys are probably tired of these by now, but this is the last one I swear.

Ha! Right.

If you want to date then go on some dates with her. It doesn't have to be a commitment - just dates. Two good friends doing stuff together.

Now if you want to make some sort of commitment to see each other exclusively then you are going to be going steady. Just agree that this is what you want to do and enjoy the companionship. Don't get too much into your head over this. Just enjoy it and enjoy each other. It doesn't matter what you call it. It only matters that you both understand and agree what is expected by the commitment if it should happen.

Tally ho!:AOK:

 

[just strum]

Pie, go with the flow and trust in your instinct. From a distance this is a tough question to provide an answer for.

I have a question for you. How is the current relationship you have with her different than dating? What would define what you have now versus dating? The reason I ask is "dating" is a term that may differ today than it did when I was younger (you know, two or three years ago). I ask my 16 year old daughter the same thing and I never really get an answer that addresses the question.

 

[just strum]

Ha! Right.

If you want to date then go on some dates with her. It doesn't have to be a commitment - just dates. Two good friends doing stuff together.

Now if you want to make some sort of commitment to see each other exclusively then you are going to be going steady. Just agree that this is what you want to do and enjoy the companionship. Don't get too much into your head over this. Just enjoy it and enjoy each other. It doesn't matter what you call it. It only matters that you both understand and agree what is expected by the commitment if it should happen.

Tally ho!:AOK:

Good advise Dr Spud. Where were you when Brittney needed you?

 

[Spudman]

Good advise Dr Spud. Where were you when Brittney needed you?

Out behind the barn with blonds that had some intelligence.

 

[Danzego]

If you're not ready for it, you're not ready for it. One thing to consider on the flip side, and this is from my own experience (and I know I'm not the only one), is if you want to wait, when you ARE ready, you may have by then become a "really good friend" that she "doesn't want to lose".

Welcome to the balancing act called life....as if you don't know that already.

 

[Bloozcat]

Ha! Right.

If you want to date then go on some dates with her. It doesn't have to be a commitment - just dates. Two good friends doing stuff together.

Now if you want to make some sort of commitment to see each other exclusively then you are going to be going steady. Just agree that this is what you want to do and enjoy the companionship. Don't get too much into your head over this. Just enjoy it and enjoy each other. It doesn't matter what you call it. It only matters that you both understand and agree what is expected by the commitment if it should happen.

Tally ho!:AOK:

Well said, Spud...:AOK:

Just have fun, but be careful that you don't do anything that you'll regret for the rest of your life.

 

[M29]

It never hurts to wait.

Like Danzego said. You will end up being really good friends.

That is what we should try to achieve in the first place. IMHO of course.

M29

 

[Bloozcat]

If you're not ready for it, you're not ready for it. One thing to consider on the flip side, and this is from my own experience (and I know I'm not the only one), is if you want to wait, when you ARE ready, you may have by then become a "really good friend" that she "doesn't want to lose".

Welcome to the balancing act called life....as if you don't know that already.

Boy, isn't that the truth...

I'm fortunate in that I survived the high school sweetheart thing, and then years later when I was ready for a serious committment, I met my wife. I'm married to my best friend, and it doesn't get any better than that IMO.

 

[mrmudcat]

Out behind the barn with blonds that had some intelligence.

Oh damn there goes the coffee thru the nose:crazyguy:

 

[Danzego]

It never hurts to wait.

Like Danzego said. You will end up being really good friends.

That is what we should try to achieve in the first place. IMHO of course.

M29

Actually, I kind of meant that in a different way. Envision is it as window of opportunity to ask a girl out and if you pass that time frame, you've moved on to "friend" status. She sees you as a great chum, someone she can confide in, so on and so forth. By going out with you, it would end up ruining that.

I've been told that a few times in my day. In some cases it could be a nice way of the person letting you know they don't want to go out with you, but then I know for sure there were others where the girl was just waiting for my dumb ass to ask her out and I never did, for whatever silly reason (like I couldn't get up the cajones to do it) and eventually it was too late. I guess it makes some sort of sense, but then maybe I just waited around too long and exposed too many of my idiosyncracies, making myself less "desireable". I don't know. :thwap:


Now this may not be the case with you Pie, of course. But it's definitely something to consider. If you're not ready, you're not ready, and that's OK....but sometimes you just have to MAKE yourself ready if the person is the right person, lest risk losing that opportunity. Remember, sometimes forcing yourself to get over past experiences can be a healthy thing, too, especially if you're wallowing in your own misery. A new chick that makes you happy CAN be great therapy. Plus, if you let your failure to let go of a past relationship screw this opportunity up, well it just affected you twice.

So yeah, no pressure ( :whatever: ), but just some stuff I think you may want to consider.

 

[Spudman]

Wait! Before you get involved with her find out how many chickens and goats her father is willing to give you. If he can throw in a cow then you've got a pretty good deal going and you are probably safe to get more deeplyancake: involved with her.

 

[pie_man_25]

wow, dan, you bring up a good point, I mean, she's a great person and I know there's nothing wrong with being just friends, but at the same time, I don't want to be just friends.

also, to just strum, I suppose that "dating" is really just a either a technicality, or like a step up, you know, where apparently you make up stupid names like fluffy bunny and hold hands and crap, which, being a metalhead:rockon: , doesn't appeal to me very much.

 

[just strum]

also, to just strum, I suppose that "dating" is really just a either a technicality, or like a step up, you know, where apparently you make up stupid names like fluffy bunny and hold hands and crap, which, being a metalhead:rockon: , doesn't appeal to me very much.

Even metalheads have a soft side

You need to think it out and based on what you've demonstrated on the forum, I think you will make the right decision.

 

[Danzego]

I suppose that "dating" is really just a either a technicality, or like a step up, you know, where apparently you make up stupid names like fluffy bunny and hold hands and crap, which, being a metalhead:rockon: , doesn't appeal to me very much.

Dude, at some point, you're going to get a chick and before you know it, you're going to be holding hands and calling her fluffy bunny. I don't care how metal you are, it's going to happen. Ya know what? You're going to love every minute of it, too.

Well, at least until she's not around and you're hanging with your buddies. Then you'll be all " :whatever: Yeah, guys, I do it for her and make like I'm the sensitive type. What can I say? Enough about her; let's go eat some glass!! :rockon: "

Mark my words. You'll see.

 

[Spudman]

Enough about her; let's go eat some glass!! "

Thefret.net quote of the month.:bravo:

 

[Bloozcat]

Don't let being a metal head prevent you from some of the finer things in life pie_man. You can have your metal head personna, and still have a soft side. Who says it's either or when you can have both?

Someone once said to me years ago that a man should be like an iron fist in a velvet glove. Think about it.....

 

[pie_man_25]

Thefret.net quote of the month.:bravo:

+1, How do I put that in my sig?