Wow. What a rough few days. (sorry, this might get long)...
Haven't been feeling so great this past week so I went to the GP on Friday. Doc decided to give me a spirometer exam on my lungs. The one where you blow into a machine to check lung capacity. Gave it to me three times he did. He pointed to one of the numbers in the printout and said "warui" (bad).
Then he opened a cute cartoony pamphlet (only in Japan:thwap ) and said,
"maybe you have this". The "this" in the pamphlet was a condition known by the acronym COPD. I had never heard of it, so I asked him if it is something that will get better and he said, "Well no. But perhaps you didn't do the test properly so why don't you come back in a week or so." So I left, not overly concerned.
When I got home, I looked up the condition and found that it is an umbrella term for conditions such as emphysema and chronic bronchitis brought on (usually) by smoking. It is degenerative, debilitating, very nasty and ultimately fatal. Not only that, but the "warui" number he pointed at indicated the most severe stage of the disease which would leave me, on average, about a year or two of increasing suffering before expiring. Well I confess I rather lost it from that point. I certainly wasn't going to wait a "week or so" but I did have to wait until Monday as the hospitals are only opened for emergencies on the weekend.
I spent hours on the internet searching for any shred of hope but found none. I did find quite a few brave and kind people who are dealing with the disease with considerable grace and often humor who support one another and offer survival tips. In contrast, I was already trying to find a lung transplant (bad prognosis there too) or Dutch euthanasia center in case I needed it. You get the picture I'm sure. I exaagerate but only very slightly.
Anxiety, especially about my loved ones, was sky high. I even wondered if maybe BC Don might consider taking my nascent guitar company over for me and giving the wife a piece of what he made of it
Fast forward to today. Took the test again. This time given by a specialist who didn't need to read the instructions first. Just one test this time which revealed a big NEGATIVE for the disease :happy
The happiness was surprisingly short-lived however as I started thinking about the people who are actually suffering with this condition. It has made me look more at myself and how I live and how I can do something positive for others.
Today I got reprieve of sorts. Maybe tomorrow the hammer comes down, we none of us know. But I certainly got a jolt from all of this and hope that I've learned something of some lasting importance.
As a child, I spent my summers in Spud and SVL's beautiful Idaho. We camped as a family of 7. When it was time to take the tent down and move on, my Dad would always have us clear the site of any trash including any left behind by those who came before us. I think that it is past time I applied that principle to my life. Try in some way to leave this world a little better than I found it. At least try to make the effort.
Sorry for the length but it said "Open Mic" so I grabbed it!
Haven't been feeling so great this past week so I went to the GP on Friday. Doc decided to give me a spirometer exam on my lungs. The one where you blow into a machine to check lung capacity. Gave it to me three times he did. He pointed to one of the numbers in the printout and said "warui" (bad).
Then he opened a cute cartoony pamphlet (only in Japan:thwap ) and said,
"maybe you have this". The "this" in the pamphlet was a condition known by the acronym COPD. I had never heard of it, so I asked him if it is something that will get better and he said, "Well no. But perhaps you didn't do the test properly so why don't you come back in a week or so." So I left, not overly concerned.
When I got home, I looked up the condition and found that it is an umbrella term for conditions such as emphysema and chronic bronchitis brought on (usually) by smoking. It is degenerative, debilitating, very nasty and ultimately fatal. Not only that, but the "warui" number he pointed at indicated the most severe stage of the disease which would leave me, on average, about a year or two of increasing suffering before expiring. Well I confess I rather lost it from that point. I certainly wasn't going to wait a "week or so" but I did have to wait until Monday as the hospitals are only opened for emergencies on the weekend.
I spent hours on the internet searching for any shred of hope but found none. I did find quite a few brave and kind people who are dealing with the disease with considerable grace and often humor who support one another and offer survival tips. In contrast, I was already trying to find a lung transplant (bad prognosis there too) or Dutch euthanasia center in case I needed it. You get the picture I'm sure. I exaagerate but only very slightly.
Anxiety, especially about my loved ones, was sky high. I even wondered if maybe BC Don might consider taking my nascent guitar company over for me and giving the wife a piece of what he made of it
Fast forward to today. Took the test again. This time given by a specialist who didn't need to read the instructions first. Just one test this time which revealed a big NEGATIVE for the disease :happy
The happiness was surprisingly short-lived however as I started thinking about the people who are actually suffering with this condition. It has made me look more at myself and how I live and how I can do something positive for others.
Today I got reprieve of sorts. Maybe tomorrow the hammer comes down, we none of us know. But I certainly got a jolt from all of this and hope that I've learned something of some lasting importance.
As a child, I spent my summers in Spud and SVL's beautiful Idaho. We camped as a family of 7. When it was time to take the tent down and move on, my Dad would always have us clear the site of any trash including any left behind by those who came before us. I think that it is past time I applied that principle to my life. Try in some way to leave this world a little better than I found it. At least try to make the effort.
Sorry for the length but it said "Open Mic" so I grabbed it!
