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Nine Words That Women Use

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piebaldpython

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Someone sent this to me at work. For those of us who have been married "forever", we can shake our heads and laugh like heck at some of the truisms contained herein. For you single guys, young guys, newly married guys......some words of wisdom. :poke: :bravo: Enjoy!!

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, "F-- YOU!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to Nos 4 and/or 9.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine".

Send this link to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
 
Another...

What she says: "We need to talk..."
What she means: This is not an invitation to conversation, it's an ambush. Think, December 7th... She's irritated and annoyed about something(s) you're doing that she doesn't like.

How single/newly married guys respond: Ok, so talk. (Why does this require an announcement?).

How old married/experienced guys react: "Aw geez, not this s**t again...!
 
Shared this with my lovely wife :eek: - we had just come off of a little tiff the night before, so we had a good laugh together - thanks PBP!
 
N.B. Possibly slightly not-completely-safe-for-work.

The Man Song


The Woman Song
 
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