Share Your Roadwarrior Stories

[t_ross33]

I was inspired by Brian Krashpad, so I'll throw mine into the ring

Many moons ago as a young highschool aged bass player, I played in a local country band. Very cool, since I could get into the bars at 15 or 16 yrs old...

Our bandleader took a booking at a bar in a small, remote, Northern "community which shall remain nameless". We were booked for Fri and Sat night, and since it was a distance away, hotel rooms were included.

After hearing where we were to play, my first reaction was "Isn't that the bar where they beat the guy to death with a tire iron", to which the answer was "Yes".

It was an eventful Friday evening, complete with chicks slugging it out on the dancefloor, their boyfriends wrestling on stage (at which point our bandleader set down his guitar and helped the bouncer "escort" the gentlemen from the bar), broken glass, broken pool cues, and a great crowd participation sing-along of Patsy Cline's "Crazy" when one of the female patrons got up to sing a tune with us.

After so much entertainment, we retired to our hotel rooms upstairs from the bar, only to find all the rooms full of locals. We hopped from room to room enjoying a refreshment or two. At one point, our drummer was talking to some folks in one of the rooms - a couple laying under the sheets on the bed and a fellow sitting on the dresser drinking a beer. The guy on the dresser introduced himself, then pointed to his wife in the bed and introduced her, then said "I don't know who that guy is". Our drummer laughed and asked, "aren't you afraid he'll try something funny" to which the guy on the dresser turned, patted the large hunting knife strapped to his leg and said "he ain't gonna try nothin'. He knows better than that!"

Exit stage left.

Saturday was less eventful, only one altercation to speak of in which the bar owners daughter, a provincial arm wrestling champ, broke up a fight and threw a male patron out. You know, a stage can be a great vantage point After closing time, the bar owner bolted the door and opened the bar to whomever was left inside that wanted to continue the party

Anyway, I survived to play another day. One of the rougher gigs I've ever done.

 

[tot_Ou_tard]

Pics t_ross?!?

Great story...tell us the name of said nameless Great Northern Hickville.

 

[Brian Krashpad]

This is why I haven't played in any country bands.

Just kidding. I have some work to finish up tonight and am going to a water park tomorrow with my son's school. So I'll try to come back Wednesday with a story.

Not about the water park.

 

[Spudman]

T ross
Was that gig just outside of a reservation? It sounds so similar to the Montana hi-line gigs that I used to play.

Great story.

 

[sunvalleylaw]

Many moons ago . . . I love that coming from a Candian. Makes me think Inuit. Great story Trev! The tav sounds like a place I used to go to in Packwood, Wa (nearby White Pass, where I grew up skiing). There was a sign (not looking like a novelty sign) advising patrons to check guns and knives with the bartender, and another novelty sign urging to "save a logger, eat an owl". We tried to keep to ourselves. I did get asked by a lass I was dancing with to join her at a party "at the clear cut", but I politely declined. LOL! Thanks for the stories thread.

 

[t_ross33]

Yeah SVL, I've been to a couple "chek yer weppins at thu door" kinda bars.

One of my favorite bar experiences, though not a "Roadwarrior Story" propper, was showing up to see my buddy's band play in Lloyminster, a town that straddles the Alberta/Saskatchewan border.

Now, Sask has always been a wee bit prudish compared to our Western cousins: our drinking age is 19 vs Alberta's 18 (hey if you can vote, why not get plastered first ) and there certainly were no "exotic dancers" to be found.

Seeing as how the gig was on the Alberta side, we were of legal age (barely) so that was all good. About half way through the night, during a break, a scantily clad young lady rolled a small platform out into the middle of the dancefloor, told the DJ to "hit it" and proceeded to "perform her act".



When she was done, she rolled up her blanket, picked up her tips and rolled the stage off the dancefloor. The band got up and proceeded to rock once more.

This went on at every break throughout the night. Quite interesting to such a sheltered young lad

 

[sunvalleylaw]

LOL! Great stuff! I, of course, don't have any road warrior stories proper myself to add, but I enjoy reading yours. I hope to get up the both the Sask area, to check in on your for one thing, and to Alberta to soak in some Neil vibes, one of these years.

 

[Spudman]

Seeing as how the gig was on the Alberta side, we were of legal age (barely) so that was all good. About half way through the night, during a break, a scantily clad young lady rolled a small platform out into the middle of the dancefloor, told the DJ to "hit it" and proceeded to "perform her act".

When I toured Alberta with my band we had this same experience often. I was a little upset at first though because some "dancers" had to use the stage and I had to move all my effects and cables every set. But I made sure to get compensated for it. My effort netted me some of Alberta's finest beers, and I'll be forever grateful for that.

After a one week long engagement sharing the stage with a "dancer" we gave her a ride to another town. I was OK with that, but it was after she got out and we were underway to our next destination that I found out that our drummer had been her paramour for the whole week. Ewww! She was kind of, um, not that great. So I got free beer and he got teased. Rock and roll is awesome!

 

[jpfeifer]

When I was in college I used to play in a band in New Mexico that covered Top40, Country, and Mex-Tex. We played some of the worst places around but we worked steadily and it was great money for a college student to live on. One of the places that we played regularly was a bar close to the border of Mexico that was a hangout for migrant farm workers in the area. They were nice folks for the most part, just trying to have a good time dancing. However, there was one lady that used to hang out at this place who had a mean streak. She used to beat up men on occasion and usually it was because they wouldn't dance with her. She was a very large woman (Three Times a Lady , if you know what I mean). Her favorite song was "Big Fun" by Cool and the Gang and she would shout it out everytime we played there. After a while we nicknamed her "Big Foot" because it sounded like Big Fun and the name seemed to fit. One night she cornered me at the bar when we were on one of our breaks, and demanded that I buy her a drink. I was shaking in my boots because she had broken a beer bottle over some guy's head the week before and they had to pick him up in an ambulance. Lucky for me my bandmates came to my aid and made up something on the spot to get me out of there and back up to the stage.

-- Jim

 

[t_ross33]

T ross
Was that gig just outside of a reservation? It sounds so similar to the Montana hi-line gigs that I used to play.

Spud, if you're asking the question, you know the answer... just sayin' We do border Montana after all...

Sorry t_O_t, this was back before digital cameras In fact, I think there was a law on the books that stated one could not take photographs in an establishment that served liquor. Wouldn't want them gettin' back to the better-halfs I guess

 

[Ro3b]

In my guise as a mild-mannered Irish trad musician, I play a lot of wedding gigs. Some friends and I played for a reception a few years ago, on a beautiful day in late summer at a beautiful manor-house-turned-B&B near Columbia, Maryland. Tables were set up under an enormous Cirque-du-Soleil-sized tent in the garden. Crystal, silver, huge floral arrangements, a small army of caterers. And us. So we got there half an hour ahead of time and started setting up the PA, and as we were doing so, the temperature dropped about 20 degrees in five minutes, the wind started blowing really hard, and we heard thunder. I said, you know, being hooked up to an electric current outdoors in a thunderstorm sounds like a recipe for unpleasantness; let's lose the PA and play acoustically. There was general agreement. So we broke the PA down again, and as we were carrying the last of it out to our bodhran player's car, it got really dark and started raining big hard splatty drops. We scrambled back under the tent. Wedding guests were starting to arrive. Wall-sized tent flaps were coming unpegged and flapping hugely in the wind. A big table loaded with expensive china and glassware blew over. Everybody, us included, started running into the house. One of the tree-sized tent poles fell. I heard later that it hit someone, and she had to be rushed to a hospital.

Once we'd regrouped, we found a place to play in the house, and the caterers set up a buffet, and it actually ended up being a non-entirely-unsuccessful party, even with the storm raging outside and the lights flickering. The bride got magnificently drunk. We found out later that a tornado had touched down a couple of miles away.

 

[t_ross33]

The bride got magnificently drunk

ROFLMAO :R Sounds like my wedding!

Great story Ro3b! Some of the best nights come from these unexpected surprises!

Oh, Jim. Does "Big Foot" have a cousin up North? I'm pretty sure I've ran across her

 

[Brian Krashpad]

After a one week long engagement sharing the stage with a "dancer" we gave her a ride to another town. I was OK with that, but it was after she got out and we were underway to our next destination that I found out that our drummer had been her paramour for the whole week. Ewww! She was kind of, um, not that great. So I got free beer and he got teased. Rock and roll is awesome!

Wow, that's interesting about the dancers. Have never seen that happen at a show in Florida. I have been at a couple shows where some ladies danced on the bar and flashed the band, but alas that never seems to happen at my shows.

Speaking of being teased about women, it doesn't even have to be women you're sleeping with. I did a show locally one time where this one woman in the audience was really plastered. She was actually rather attractive in her own way, but also verrrrrry aggressive.

Now had I been a single guy, all of the above would not have been a problem.

However, I'm quite married and was wearing my wedding band like I always do. I also wear some "Buddy Holly" type glasses with industrial-strength frames (they're yellow-tinted shades, but prescription) usually when onstage, not only because I need them to see and they're virtually indestructible, but also because I figure they'll help discourage any wayward women. Not that having to deter women has ever been a problem for me, as I am not tall or in good shape or handsome, but it seems like there's a lock for every key.

At any rate, I was playing bass in this particular band and we had begun striking the stage and getting ready to load out after our set, when this lady made it very clear she had intentions of a decidedly physical nature regarding myself. I tried to gently let her know that I was married (this did not seem to make any difference to her) and was not interested in hooking up, though I appreciated her kind offer. She literally followed me around the dance floor and stage area while I got all my gear offstage and ready to be loaded out. Literally took me 10 minutes of polite refusals before she finally gave up.

Meanwhile my bandmates were hysterical with laughter at watching me try to take the high road through all of it. I got it for weeks from them about it.

 

[Spudman]

Wow, that's interesting about the dancers. Have never seen that happen at a show in Florida.

Well Brian, these "dancers" were professional clothing removers...their own.

 

[Ro3b]

The opposite scenario usually happens to me. My longtime collaborator Sara and I opened for Solas a few years ago in Charlottesville, VA, where I was living at the time. Solas, if you don't know, is a major superstar group in the tiny little world of Irish music, so this was kind of coup for us. We put in a pretty decent set, and then Solas did their thing, and after all was done, I was at the bar, and a very attractive woman came up to me.

She: Hey, weren't you part of the opening act?

Me: Uh, hi. Hi! Yeah, that was me. Us.

She: That - was - BEAUTIFUL - music. I've never heard anything like it.

Me: Um, wow. Thanks.

She: I mean, it was REALLY beautiful. It really -- touched me in a way, you know? (Laying her hand on my arm) I can't believe I've never seen you play before. Are you from around here?

Me: Uh, yeah. I live over on St. Clair. (Thinking, this is really cool!)

She: Well, I thought your music was just incredible. Hey, come back to my table with me. I want you to meet my husband.

 

[Brian Krashpad]

Well Brian, these "dancers" were professional clothing removers...their own.

Oh I understand the concept of strippers.

Just never seen it here in non-stripclubs in between music acts.

BK

 

[Spudman]

Oh I understand the concept of strippers.

Just never seen it here in non-stripclubs in between music acts.

BK

I think it has something with the difference in beer strength/quality up north. I guess if you have a club in Alberta you can do whatever you want. At least that's what happened when I was there. That was when the police still rode horses.

 

[duhvoodooman]

Hey, come back to my table with me. I want you to meet my husband.

You shoulda gone! Maybe they had one of those "open" marriages!

 

[t_ross33]

At any rate, I was playing bass in this particular band and we had begun striking the stage and getting ready to load out after our set, when this lady made it very clear she had intentions of a decidedly physical nature regarding myself. I tried to gently let her know that I was married (this did not seem to make any difference to her) and was not interested in hooking up, though I appreciated her kind offer. She literally followed me around the dance floor and stage area while I got all my gear offstage and ready to be loaded out. Literally took me 10 minutes of polite refusals before she finally gave up.

Meanwhile my bandmates were hysterical with laughter at watching me try to take the high road through all of it. I got it for weeks from them about it.

I feel your pain, brother Must have something to do with bass guitar. When I was the aforementioned teenaged bass player, I would get hit on quite often by more "mature" female patrons. Not in the "Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me, but..." kinda way either ++shudder++ Our drummer was the next closest in age to me (in his mid-20's) and he got me out of more than one uncomfortable situation.

When I revived my musical "career" about a year and 1/2 ago, I mentioned to some friends (in jest) that I just wanted to be a rock star and have women throw their underwear on stage at me. At our debut gig, one of the girls went out and bought a half dozen or so pairs of panties and when I stepped up to sing one number they started tossing them at me from the crowd - including one super-duper sized pair of granny panties (you could rig a sailboat with them!) Big laugh at Trev's expense There are pix of that floating around somewhere - I'll have to dig them up.

 

[Mark]

Oh lord Ill have to revisit this thread when I have time to type. Lets see theres the Ikettes in Atlanta, Barbra the Belly Dancer in San Antonio not to forget Lovely Linda :R at the Hyatt House on Sunset aka The Riot house.The 70's were very good to me.....

 

[Spudman]

How about the time in Rock Springs Wyoming after doing a fabulous 2 week stint at (insert club name here. I think it was Haddock's) it was time to tear down and move on?

These past two weeks were the first time that we didn't have to use our drum riser so it stayed in the equipment truck and when it was time to start reloading the truck it was set off to the side and leaned up against the truck so it would be out of the way.

Much partying had been going on that Saturday night because it was our final night and the locals loved us, the help loved us and the whole place was tripping on shrooms for two weeks. The first two week stint for the club in a year without a fight. Everybody was happy. Especially me. I had had a ball.

My job besides fronting the band and playing lead guitar was to load all the equipment into our 28 foot truck. It was a great workout and I always made sure gear got stacked so it was safe and nothing would get broken. We were a road band and played A clubs so we had a truck FULL of gear. Wall to wall, front to back, top to bottom. Everything had to be just so or it wouldn't fit. I prided myself on my memory and spacial awareness.

All the time during load out the party continued. Bartenders were bringing me special shots up into the truck, waitress would bring them up soon after in a much more open and giving way than the male bartenders. I was certainly happy.

Things were going great and I had gotten the truck packed almost to the final few items. All the help was sticking around to see us off. With 5 pieces left the bass player asks me when I want the drum riser? "What?" I exclaimed. He said, "ya, it's right here." Well my heart just sank to my knees right then because the drum riser is one of the first things to go into the truck. Now it's 4:30 in the morning, we are all pretty hammered, me included and now I have to partially unpack the truck to fit the damn drum riser in. Ugh!

Needless to say things happened way faster than I was able to comprehend and in no time we had everything in the truck and the door was closed. With me now back on the ground all the help gathered round and declared they wanted to present me with something special because for the past two weeks I had kept them in stitches and made them look forward to coming to work. It was getting a little cold at 4:30 am so just as I zipped up my coat and looked up I was bombarded by 30 cream pies.

 

[M29]

Oh man...flying panties and cream pie oh my.
Well lets see... I remember this time at a club on the outskirts of Detroit. We were playing on a stage that had a runway like a beauty contest or something. The main stage was behind the bar and the runway went out past the bar. Our keyboard player, I will call Bob, because that is his name was a good singer. He always wanted to go out front and sing a song but he never had the nerve. One night I don't remember what we were playing, our keyboard player got enough nerve or drinks to go out front. I think it was a ZZ Top song or something. Anyway, he got about two verses into it out on that runway and a fight broke out. I was playing drums then and felt pretty safe in the back of the band but things started getting pretty nasty. It was weird because we kept on playing. I remember our keyboard player ducking and singing and ducking and singing and it got to a point where we had to stop when chairs started flying across the room. I saw a guy get hit by one and thought...ooh that must have hurt. It was so weird because we had this kind of buffer zone with the bar down in front of us and we just kept watching and ducking but there was a lot of stuff flying around. When it was all over, we were walking around helping get the chairs and stuff back in place and I found a rather large hunk of hair about the size of a large hand. One of the waitresses told us that the guys fighting were the band that was going to follow us and play there the next weekend. They got ticked about something between them and started fighting. We had a lot of laughs about that one and I never saw Bob get back out front and sing again.:R

Ahh the memories, I love this stuff.

M29

 

[tot_Ou_tard]

Cream pies & panties?!? Self-unwrapping dancers. Could it get any better?

I hope so, I hope so.

The opposite scenario usually happens to me. My longtime collaborator Sara and I opened for Solas a few years ago in Charlottesville, VA, where I was living at the time. Solas, if you don't know, is a major superstar group in the tiny little world of Irish music, so this was kind of coup for us.

Solas?!? Way cool Ro3b. They are great.

Sunvalley, that was the band I mentioned to you.

Ro3b do you have any clips of your Irish trad band?

Ever play Irish trad death metal?


...waiting patiently for Trev's gramma panty party pictures.

 

[Ro3b]

Solas?!? Way cool Ro3b. They are great.

Sunvalley, that was the band I mentioned to you.

Ro3b do you have any clips of your Irish trad band?

Ever play Irish trad death metal?

The members of Solas are really nice people too. Sexual frustration aside, that was a good night.

I've got a live track of my old band from a compilation cd. I'll rip it and post to the Sound Clip Showcase. And don't think I haven't thought about trad death metal! Actually one of the fiddlers from that group and I have been talking about putting a metal band together (she also plays bass). I'd love to do some loud ugly music for a change.

 

[pie_man_25]

although I'm not a roadwarrior yet, I'll tell my storie:

I was at a hardcore show, you know, the music that's music without the music, because a "really cool band" was playing. basically one of the bands got into a breakdown, and the bassist dedided to throw his bas at someone and jump into the crowd to slam, and the roadies were throwing frozen hotdogs everywhere, on of the hotdogs hit the bassist really hard in the jaw and knocked him out. Since all the bands were "fashionably late" I couldn't see the good band, because I had to leave early, but I didn't mind, because of that bassist!!

 

[Brian Krashpad]

First Show Evah!

I was 22 and had been playing guitar for about 10 years. However, I had only been playing electric guitar for 3 or 4 years at most.

I actually sorta had two first gigs. One that halfway happened and then one that really happened. The band was called the Atomics and played covers, from hard rock to punk rock to new wave.

The Atomics' first show was to have been at Lake Wauberg, a receation area for the University of Florida located just south of Gainesville. We agreed to play for free (as was true of almost all our shows) since there would be food and beer at this party hosted by some law school group (I was in law school at the time). After schlepping our PA to the hall, tearing through our soundcheck ending with our deconstruction (most Atomics songs were deconstructions, as we seldom if ever attempted note-for-note covers, and hadn't any keyboards despite that numerous songs we covered did!) of Led Zep's "Rock and Roll," the noise complaints from the rich folks living on the other side of the lake began pouring in.

We were unceremoniously asked to leave. My drummer and bassist both wanted to commit a little mayhem in return for such shabby treatment, and in retrospect, that's exactly what we should've done. But I prevailed on them to simply eat and drink as much as we could during an extended load-out.

The Atomics' real debut came a month or so later at another kegger, this time at an apartment complex then called Maracaibo Manor. We played 4 sets, marred only by my vocal mangling of the Records' "Starry Eyes." My brother Kerry and Kerry's friend Mike both sang leads on several songs. People danced and had a good time, and our bassist Frank's friends George Tabb and Bob Fetts of the local punk band Roach Motel slammed to our rendition of the Ramones' "I Wanna Be Sedated" (pictured below).

After we ran out of material, George Tabb somewhat sheepishly approached me and asked if Roach Motel could play a set on our equipment. Frank vouched for them so we said OK. They played a short set of 5 or 6 songs including "Burger King Is Dead" and "Brooke Shields Must Die."

Good time had by all.

BK

Me @ Maracaibo Manor, Fall 1980:

 

[pie_man_25]

wow, interesting! my band's first gig, and last, if you would call it one, would be us playing won't get fooled again at a talent show!

 

[Brian Krashpad]

wow, interesting! my band's first gig, and last, if you would call it one, would be us playing won't get fooled again at a talent show!

Well, what you meant to say was that was your first band's first and last gig.

There'll probably lots more bands.

I counted up this morning and excluding bands I only temporarily "sat in" with, I think I was up to 14 that I've been an official member of.

 

[t_ross33]

You Asked For It...

A picture of my first pair of rockstar trophy underwear:

Someday I'll have some real rockstar pix like Brian Krashpad. I have to remember to bring a camera to our gigs

 

[pie_man_25]

WOW!!! well, now I'm on my way to being a roadie, my friend needs someone to carry his gear, and his bassist needs an amp, so he's borrowing mine! I'm charging them $10 to borrow the amp, and if they advertise me to other bands I'll be their roadie for free!!