Weird Craigslist Experience

[Heywood Jablomie]

Here's the ad I responded to:

Band Seeks Rhythm Guitarist

Are you old enough to feel a connection to the classic rock music of the 60s and 70s? Can you blend into the band's rhythm section without stepping on anyone else's part? Are you able to keep your ego in check for the sake of the band's shared goals? Is making good music when you get together to rehearse more important than making small talk? Can you appreciate being in a band that has a casual attitude toward hustling gigs? Are you reliable and punctual? Are you willing to participate in the band's decision-making process.

If you can answer yes to all these questions, please get in touch.

I responded by email, the guy phoned me the next day, we chatted for a while, and he said he'd email their playlist to look at. I replied that I was familiar with most of the songs, knew some of them, and was confident that I could learn the rest, and asked him how he wanted to proceed. The guy called me yesterday, asked me what I thought of the playlist, and was I ready to play all of the songs. Say what?!?! I hadn't even met the guy, had no idea whatsoever whether the band and I had any potential to play together, and he wants me to learn the entire playlist BEFORE the audition???!!! I told him that it made no sense for me to learn their songs when I didn't even know whether or not I'd be playing with the band at all, and that I'd learn the songs if we decided to work together. He said, "I don't know how it's done on the east coast, but here you need to be fully prepared to do a good audition".

At that point I realized I was dealing with a Craigslist weirdo, and told him nevermind.

Anybody have similar experiences?

 

[poodlesrule]

That would make a cool dialogue for the parody animation style Robert posted some time ago, about wedding bands - can't find it right now, but if you saw it then, you know which one it is!

 

[Katastrophe]

Yep... I went to practice with a cover band for a while. They were established and had a huge set list. They gave it to me and said for me to learn it ALL by the next rehearsal, in a week. As a guy with a job who had never played any of the tunes, it was a daunting task, and one at which I failed. I DID have their most popular tunes down, and went to the next rehearsal. Everything went fine, and I went home. A couple weeks go by and I hear nothing, so I call. Dude asks the bandmates (with the phone receiver partway covered), "So what, y'all want this guy to come back or what?" They said yes, and I went to practice. I should have known at the time that the lack of information about practice was a clue. I should have also known that changing from my first name to "this guy" was another clue. I was young and less jaded about the world in those days.

I was ignored the whole practice. Total silent treatment. So, after a while, I started packing up my gear. Head guy gives me the "don't call us" speech. I told them not to worry about it, and split.

I will NEVER, EVER, put that much work into learning another band's set list without first meeting the group and finding out if personalities match. Better yet, I just won't join an established band. I'll form my own.

By contrast, my previous and longest running band had about 10 songs in their setlist of all original material. I was invited to the bass player's apartment, where we all hung out for a bit and talked about musical influences and goals. I had my guitar and a practice amph, and showed them some of my abilities. They liked what they heard, and we hung out some more. THEN we went to practice and I learned the songs, one at a time. They were patient, and made it fun. After a couple of practices, I had the list down and they offered me the gig. Much less stress, and no attitudes or egos.

 

[Eric]

That guy sounds like a jerk, Heywood. Way too self-important.

I wish there was a way to check the ego when it came to music, but unfortunately, that would mean it was something other than music. I'm now getting involved enough with enough people that I'm finding the music scene to be a very weird place indeed.

For something that's supposed to be a pleasant hobby, there sure are a lot of weird people out there with huge egos and weird agendas.

 

[hubberjub]

The guy called me yesterday, asked me what I thought of the playlist, and was I ready to play any or all of the songs.

I'm just trying to clarify this for myself. You write that he asked if you could play any or all of the songs, correct? That doesn't sound like a requirement that you immediately know how to play all of the songs. It just sounds like he was asking if you were familiar enough with some of the songs that it would be worthwhile to get together for an audition. If that's the case, it doesn't sound like an unreasonable question. Maybe I'm just reading your post wrong, but if I were to go to an audition I think it's reasonable to be expected to know a couple of songs. Especially if you are auditioning as a rhythm guitarist in a classic rock band. That sounds like a fairly easy gig to prepare for. It would be a pretty boring audition if someone went in with no prepared material.

 

[Heywood Jablomie]

I'm just trying to clarify this for myself. You write that he asked if you could play any or all of the songs, correct? That doesn't sound like a requirement that you immediately know how to play all of the songs. It just sounds like he was asking if you were familiar enough with some of the songs that it would be worthwhile to get together for an audition. If that's the case, it doesn't sound like an unreasonable question. Maybe I'm just reading your post wrong, but if I were to go to an audition I think it's reasonable to be expected to know a couple of songs. Especially if you are auditioning as a rhythm guitarist in a classic rock band. That sounds like a fairly easy gig to prepare for. It would be a pretty boring audition if someone went in with no prepared material.

He said "all" - I wrote it poorly. And I did clarify that point with him. He made it quite clear that he felt it was reasonable to expect me to spend whatever time necessary to learn the playlist before the "audition". Sure, if he asked me to be ready to play, say, three or four songs, that would be reasonable. This is not a working band, they have no gigs; hell, they don't even have a permanent rehearsal space.

 

[FrankenFretter]

Was this guy the lead singer? Sounds like a case of LSS to me.

Sorry it didn't work out for you, but it also sounds like you wouldn't have enjoyed working with that band anyway.

 

[hubberjub]

He said "all" - I wrote it poorly. And I did clarify that point with him. He made it quite clear that he felt it was reasonable to expect me to spend whatever time necessary to learn the playlist before the "audition". Sure, if he asked me to be ready to play, say, three or four songs, that would be reasonable. This is not a working band, they have no gigs; hell, they don't even have a permanent rehearsal space.

Gotcha. Learning all of the songs in a couple of days notice would be pretty challenging.

 

[Spudman]

That would make a cool dialogue for the parody animation style Robert posted some time ago, about wedding bands - can't find it right now, but if you saw it then, you know which one it is!

+1 Do it!

 

[Heywood Jablomie]

Gotcha. Learning all of the songs in a couple of days notice would be pretty challenging.

And for what? I could be banging away at it only to find they went with someone else in the meantime. If I had done it, I'm certain with what I know now, that it would have been a total waste of time, once I found out what a dick this guy is.

No matter how hard I try, I can't understand where this guy's coming from (except maybe Mars).

 

[otaypanky]

I think if he had said that to me my response would have brief but concise, just 2 little words ~

Heywood Jablomie

I almost wet my pants when I read L.S.S. Lead Singer Syndrome

 

[Jx2]

That's what Im thinking. Seems most frontmen want the musicians to check ego's while they try to become the next Axl Rose.

Id love to be in a band some day, but I have a feeling that if I do it will be my baby. Seeing how everytime Ive attempted to put something together I was the driving force at putting it together and setting practice times and what not. Probably also my fault it failed also, its cool to be inspired by someone like Slash but dont try to out party a image.

 

[Heywood Jablomie]

After considering the whole thing, I've come to the conclusion that I was uncomfortable with the guy's handling auditions for a guitarist in an admittedly casual band like a job interview. Right off the bat, that's too much unnecessary structure for my taste. Maybe he felt that was a good way to weed out lightweights, and I simply disagree with that approach. It seems he's looking for someone who thinks like him, even before finding out whether that person can even play. So, in the end, there is simply a mismatch of personal style that would have surfaced (and exploded) sooner or later, anyway.

If I was looking for a potential band member, I would initially have a more casual approach, by having the guy sit in for a bit during a rehearsal, just to see whether his playing was something the band liked, and whether he liked what the band was doing. That might take up all of 15 minutes, and then I'd send him on his way. Then, if the band gives the thumbs-down, I'd call him and let him know. If it's thumbs-up, then I'd get specific about rehearsals, setlists, expectations, etc..

Personally, I've always chafed at unnecessary structure, and I'm pretty sure this guy and I wouldn't work well together.

 

[sumitomo]

On the other hand of all this,maybe this guy has had his share of flakes,and is hardnosed because he's wasted alot of time on them.Sumi

 

[Spudman]

This is where you can turn this experience into comedy gold.
http://www.xtranormal.com/

 

[Eric]

On the other hand of all this,maybe this guy has had his share of flakes,and is hardnosed because he's wasted alot of time on them.Sumi

Very good point. Why does the whole get-together-and-play-music thing have to be so difficult most of the time? You'd think a common goal would unite, wouldn't you?

 

[NWBasser]

He said "all" - I wrote it poorly. And I did clarify that point with him. He made it quite clear that he felt it was reasonable to expect me to spend whatever time necessary to learn the playlist before the "audition". Sure, if he asked me to be ready to play, say, three or four songs, that would be reasonable. This is not a working band, they have no gigs; hell, they don't even have a permanent rehearsal space.

Nor will they ever be a working band. SOP for a working bands with gigs is to require about 4 to 5 songs to audition new members. That gives them an idea of your abilities and you get to check them out too. Full-set requirements come later. Keep in mind too that auditions go both ways.

Also, where do these guys come from holding such formal auditions for a non-working band??? Gee, I wonder how many players are going to put out the effort for an audition with no clear payout.

 

[Heywood Jablomie]

Also, where do these guys come from holding such formal auditions for a non-working band??? Gee, I wonder how many players are going to put out the effort for an audition with no clear payout.

Zackly!

 

[Eric]

Heywood, I'm going through my own version of this crap right now. It's all self-imposed, as I've been answering craigslist ads and messaging people on other forums, but the pretension people carry around is unreal. I never realized it was so hard for everyone just settle down and have some fun with music.

If it isn't someone is talking about all of their incredibly expensive amps, it's a different guy letting me know when I have the privilege of attending his tryouts. I'm trying to just check my ego and play along until I know more, but it's kind of hard to swallow.

I'll see where it all leads. Hopefully I'm wrong and one of these roads ends up as something good.

 

[Heywood Jablomie]

Update: Looks like this guy hasn't found his perfect rhythm guitarist yet, and judging by his updated ad, his answer is to double down and carefully list his stringent requirements. Here's the new ad:

We assume that you know how to play your instrument well enough, and have time to learn your part well and participate in rehearsals and gigs. What we need to find out is if you would be a good fit for our band, in terms of musicianship and personality. So, we have a few questions for you:

Are you old enough to enjoy playing the rock music of the '60s and '70s? Have you ever performed with a gigging band? Can you play stuff that's groovy, funky and driving? Do you know how to synergize with the rest of the band and avoid stepping on anyone else's part? Can you restrain your ego in support of the group's collective goals? Are you someone who isn't easily irritated or offended? Do your feelings about the music take priority over your feelings toward the other band members? Would you rather play music than make small-talk? Are you reliable, congenial and punctual? Would you enjoy playing casual gigs? Do you have a good sense of humor and occasionally laugh at yourself?

If you have honestly answered 'yes' to all questions, please let us know who you are and what you are looking for in a band. Feel free to ask us some questions, too.

Is he looking for a guitarist or a wife?

Keep in mind that I live in an area that has a total permanent population of less than 70,000 people......

 

[poodlesrule]

]
Is he looking for a guitarist or a wife?

I think guitarist -or he would have stated his birth-control preferences.

 

[Eric]

Update: Looks like this guy hasn't found his perfect rhythm guitarist yet, and judging by his updated ad, his answer is to double down and carefully list his stringent requirements. Here's the new ad:

We assume that you know how to play your instrument well enough, and have time to learn your part well and participate in rehearsals and gigs. What we need to find out is if you would be a good fit for our band, in terms of musicianship and personality. So, we have a few questions for you:

Are you old enough to enjoy playing the rock music of the '60s and '70s? Have you ever performed with a gigging band? Can you play stuff that's groovy, funky and driving? Do you know how to synergize with the rest of the band and avoid stepping on anyone else's part? Can you restrain your ego in support of the group's collective goals? Are you someone who isn't easily irritated or offended? Do your feelings about the music take priority over your feelings toward the other band members? Would you rather play music than make small-talk? Are you reliable, congenial and punctual? Would you enjoy playing casual gigs? Do you have a good sense of humor and occasionally laugh at yourself?

If you have honestly answered 'yes' to all questions, please let us know who you are and what you are looking for in a band. Feel free to ask us some questions, too.

Is he looking for a guitarist or a wife?

Keep in mind that I live in an area that has a total permanent population of less than 70,000 people......

Well in his defense, those are all things I would hope to find in someone who I was going to play with on a regular basis. He's probably just putting them in the ad to avoid going through the dance with everyone, but this dude does seem to need some people skills and, as you mention about the area, probably needs to bear in mind the size of the population.

 

[otaypanky]

Update: Looks like this guy hasn't found his perfect rhythm guitarist yet, and judging by his updated ad, his answer is to double down and carefully list his stringent requirements. Here's the new ad:

We assume that you know how to play your instrument well enough, and have time to learn your part well and participate in rehearsals and gigs. What we need to find out is if you would be a good fit for our band, in terms of musicianship and personality. So, we have a few questions for you:

Are you old enough to enjoy playing the rock music of the '60s and '70s? Have you ever performed with a gigging band? Can you play stuff that's groovy, funky and driving? Do you know how to synergize with the rest of the band and avoid stepping on anyone else's part? Can you restrain your ego in support of the group's collective goals? Are you someone who isn't easily irritated or offended? Do your feelings about the music take priority over your feelings toward the other band members? Would you rather play music than make small-talk? Are you reliable, congenial and punctual? Would you enjoy playing casual gigs? Do you have a good sense of humor and occasionally laugh at yourself?

If you have honestly answered 'yes' to all questions, please let us know who you are and what you are looking for in a band. Feel free to ask us some questions, too.

Is he looking for a guitarist or a wife?

Keep in mind that I live in an area that has a total permanent population of less than 70,000 people......

:thwap the verb BLOVIATE comes to mind ~
blo·vi·ate Verb /ˈblōvēˌāt/
bloviated past participle; bloviated past tense; bloviating present participle; bloviates 3rd person singular present

Talk at length, esp. in an inflated or empty way
orate verbosely and windily
To speak or discourse at length in a pompous or boastful manner

 

[oldguy]

"If you have honestly answered 'yes' to all questions, please let us know who you are and what you are looking for in a band. Feel free to ask us some questions, too. "

"Yes, I would like to ask a question of you, sir.........
Would I be expected to learn your complete songlist before a live audition?
Being a competent guitarist, I would like to know what you expect one to do, given the fact you have no jobs lined up, are not a gigging band, and seem to be auditioning for a socially compatible sideman, rather than putting together a band of musicians who love music for what it is.
Continue to bloviate amongst yourselves, begin now."ancake

 

[sumitomo]

I don't know guys Bloviate? More like Flatulate! Sumi