Personal note. Dad is Sick.

[sunvalleylaw]

feel a bit conflicted about posting this. I am not one to make a public scene of personal stuff. But I am sad about this, and feel some good can come from sharing it. You guys have been friends since 2006, so I am just going to post this.

On the night we got home from vacation 3 weeks ago, I got an email that something might be wrong with my Dad and he was going in for tests. Friday of that next week, the day I performed at my gig I posted about, I learned it looked serious. He was diagnosed with cancer in his spine, but they didn't know how bad, etc. Turns out it is a form of sarcoma that is affecting some bones in his spine. They cannot pinpoint a source yet, or know exactly what form. Still waiting on biopsy results that were taken a couple weeks ago. They knew enough to start nuking him though.

Now he has just finished 10 days of radiation, and it has been rough. He turns 80 next month, and has been week and vulnerable to normal illness, etc. the last few years. The radiation has not been easy on him, and the morphine they have him on is really messing with him. He is a retired judge and a navy captain, and not one to just enjoy the ride on a drug. Rough on him mentally. Plus the other side effects.

I had thought we were waiting until next month to go see him, after letting him recover a bit from this. They are calling it a hard fight, not sending him home to pack it in. But the road has been harder than we thought, and I am heading over this weekend.

I am getting it together to go visit and just be there for him and Mom, and do what I can. He plays sax, and loves music, as I have posted. So I am bringing a guitar hoping he will enjoy a few chords, and that it will help keep me calmed down too.

 

[Robert]

Thanks for sharing with us. You have plenty of friends here, so it's perfectly alright to post this.

I think playing a blues for him will make him feel better. Just a few chords and a smile, that will do wonders for the soul.

I'm with you and your family in my thoughts.

 

[sunvalleylaw]

Thanks Robert. I have a blues in mind that I can use some jazzy voiced chords he will like. Plus "Somewhere over the Rainbow", which I have played with him. And after all, it is a blues from the point of view of a girl from Kansas. He will like that.

 

[progrmr]

I am very sorry to hear about the health problems your Dad and the rest of your family are dealing with with.

In trying to put myself in your shoes - what comes to mind is how much it's going to mean for your dad to see you and spend some time together. When the chips are down and our true friends and family come to comfort us - well that's where strength comes from.

Prepare yourself as much as possible, then go and put a smile on his face as often as you can.

I will pray for your dad's speedy and complete recovery, and for strength and peace for you and your family.

 

[Tig]

I think you are doing the right thing (sharing and visiting). Music creates a great place to heal from, both mentally and physically. Even if he wasn't sick, it is a cool thing to do, just because. Tomorrow is promised to no one, regardless of our age, health, or situation.

My Dad is just a few years younger and while quite healthy, he is more fragile than he will admit. He just had some lower risk skin carcinoma's removed from his ear and neck. He survived a few other rounds of higher risk carcinomas, among other things in the past, but it is hard to not worry.

I really hope your dad kicks this cancer's arse, Steve. As my Dad says of himself, "Bad weeds never die!". I'll be honest, bone cancer in the vertebrae is no picnic. I remember I had a patient in his 20's with advanced bone cancer and his pain required a PCA pump pushing morphine in his spinal column, similar to an epidural used during labor and delivery. Keep on keepin' on, fight the good fight, and together, you, your mom, and your dad will get through this.

 

[sunvalleylaw]

Thanks guys. I feel better having shared. Gonna go get some sleep now so I can be ready tomorrow for the trip.

 

[syo]

Very sorry to hear that your father's illness requires him to deal with such treatment. I hope things turn out well for him and he doesn't have to go through too much more to get well. My mother, who is nearly 80, overcame cancer almost 5 years ago and I know these things can be tough for everyone involved. Best thoughts Steve, to your father, to you and your family.

 

[FrankenFretter]

Thanks for sharing, Steve. I'm very sorry to hear that your father is having such a rough fight. Others before me have already said most of the important things, so I'll just say that you, your dad and your family are in my thoughts this evening, and I wish you all strength and peace. Good on ya for going to spend some time and share some music with your dad.

 

[bcdon]

So sorry to hear the news about your dad, Steve. Wishing your dad, you and the rest of the family all the best.

 

[piebaldpython]

Hope things go well with your Dad. You did the right thing going out NOW as tomorrow isn't promised to anybody. Mojo and prayers sent to your Dad.

 

[Jimi75]

Just got back from a 4 day easter holiday trip, checking in here and reading your post. Steve, I am really touched and I honestly feel sorry for your dad. This reminds me of the period I went through when my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. The small things become the most important. I love your idea of playing some nice Blues for your dad. I am sure you will do beautiful and he will love it. Steve, I cross my fingers for your dad and include him in my prayers. Be strong things will go well. Sharing your thoughts was the right decision.

 

[guitarhack]

I hope all goes well with your dad and your family. I lost my father to alzheimer's 4 years ago.

 

[R_of_G]

You know you have friends here you can always talk to Steve.

My best wishes to your dad and your family as you guys deal with this situation.

 

[Katastrophe]

The music idea for your dad is a great one, Steve. Playing can help him focus on something else besides the side effects.

Prayers for strength and comfort in this time for you, your dad, and family have been sent.

 

[stingx]

Wishing your dad the best for a speedy recovery.

 

[NWBasser]

I don't know that I can add much Steve, but I know how difficult this sort of situation is and I wish the best for you and your father. I'll say that it's a great idea to spend every moment that you can with him.

 

[tjcurtin1]

Hey Steve, sending good thoughts your way. I feel your situation - my dad is an old Navy guy of the same generation and similar age, and of course you start to worry about them no matter how well they seem to be doing. I can say that there are folks of that generation who are really exceptional people who in many ways (personally, of course, but also globally) gave us the world we live in, and I know I want to hang on to mine! Best wishes to you all.

Ted

 

[Tig]

My Dad served in the Navy during Korea as well. CPO in the radar shack on destroyers and tenders. Oh, the stories he and guys like him tell! Let's just say he loved Japan.

 

[sunvalleylaw]

Thanks everyone for the support. I arrived in time to say good night to him. He said he had a good day. My next younger brother was able to come and spend most of the day with him too. He is done with radiation for now, and he rested today. I hung with my brother and my Mom, and just now plugged my tele into my son's little old "Fullerton" SS amph from his fat strat pack. Sounds just fine for some clean chords at low volume and clean single note lines. Mom enjoyed my warming up.

Dad was in the active Navy during the Korean war, and was going to steam out there with the minesweeper division he was in, but was called back. After the war, he went to law school, and stayed in the reserve for years. He was a Captain of destroyers and Commodore of a mine sweeper division out of Tacoma.

Well, I am hoping he will still feel pretty well tomorrow, and start to move about some more, and increase those calories and fluids more. He did a little bit better today. Thanks again guys.

 

[oldguy]

Steve,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family.
My Dad is a Korean war veteran, he'll be 82 in September.
I just saw this thread today, I will be praying for your Dad, and I think you playing for him is wonderful. I do that for my Dad when he's down, since Mom's been in the nursing home after her stroke.
We all need to let our loved know how much they mean to us.

 

[otaypanky]

Hang in there, both of you ~

 

[kidsmoke]

Steve,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family.

We all need to let our loved know how much they mean to us.

I'll enthusiastically endorse all of this. Says a lot about your Dad that dropping everything and going to be with him, with guitar in hand, is your kneejerk reaction when things get tough. Seems he did a pretty good job raising his kids.

keep us posted, Steve.

 

[t_ross33]

Thoughts and prayers going out to you and your family, SVL.

 

[MAXIFUNK]

I hope your Dad gets well.

 

[street music]

Steve, I hope your Dad can be without pain with his cancer, I know what you are facing as I lost my Dad to bone cancer which did go to his spine. It great that you are playing for him and spend every minute you can with him.

 

[poodlesrule]

I just read this thread a few minutes ago, as I was away from the forum for a while.
My thoughts are with Steve and family.

SVL, I hope your dad improves, and does not have too much trouble with therapy.
It is great fro you two to have the music connection!

Does he have friends who could visit him?
Grandchildren can visit?
Sometimes folks shy away from people when they get sick, unfortunately.

 

[Blaze]

Be strong Steve , music coming from the soul is always a good comfort for those who suffer ..

Sending Mojo and hope he gets well ..

 

[Pickngrin]

So sorry to hear about your dad, Steve. It sounds like you are of much comfort to him.
Be well.

 

[sunvalleylaw]

Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate the support. It really makes a difference.

It was a rough weekend. Dad finished his radiation (for now) on Thursday, and the radiation and pain drugs etc. were really making it tough on him. Without going through all the details, we got through the weekend, and things are hopefully at this point starting to look up a little after a very rough and low point type of weekend.

They do have lots of friends and a good support system for when he can get back home.

On the positive side, he really did enjoy a little guitar and companionship. I was really glad I went for the visit. One step at a time at this point. Thanks for your support, love, prayers and encouragement. Really, . . . thanks.

 

[Brian Krashpad]

Steve, sorry I missed this til now. As others have said, this isn't just a place we talk about guitars, certainly people have seen more of my stuff here than they probably wanted to! So, especially when it's something serious like this, don't hesitate.

At this point I well know how radiation can take things out of a person, as well as dealing with pain meds. Plus my dad is retired Navy too, so I can relate on multiple levels. Take care, prayers for and mojo to you and all concerned.

Also, if anyone ever needs info or just support as a result of dealing with cancer, I highly recommend the American Cancer Society's "Cancer Survivor Network," which is for not only peeps with C but also caregivers/loved ones:

http://csn.cancer.org/

The site has DOZENS of forums, divided up into various different types of C (for example, I read/post in "head & neck cancer" from time to time), where you can talk to others going through (or who already have gone through) similar experiences. A lot of good info and good mojo there.